29.04.2016

Friday. I was a bit late to the game, I haven't felt that well in my mind for a couple of days, I had some errands to run in the morning but wasn't on par with my self-imposed schedule for today, so I postponed another appointment for later on. I hate when I have to do that, change people's programs too, but I'm fortunate when I have the wiggle-room (and especially the other ones involved) in the schedule to do it. It went ok. Time to go get food and combine that trip with another task to finish, when it starts raining outside. And I mean pouring. I don't like that at all, it renders me inactive, lazy, out of ambition to get out. I get it done anyway. Good thing I lived in the UK for 4 years and learned how to get through this weather and still get stuff done. It's quite simple: you set out 100 things to do that are impossible to finish in one day, so you finish as much as you can, so at the end of the day you're frustrated that some tasks are left over for the next day, but then you look back and can't give yourself too much shit for not having done more, because you realize you've been on the run non-stop, sweaty and with aching calves at the end of the day, and it's past midnight. Always keeping busy and wondering how time flies. Gives life a purpose. Keeps my guard up. In some ways... I was on the bus, and as it was pulling out of one station, I see this lady that just missed it, running towards the door and trying to plead for the driver to open the door for her too, as he just shut the door when she was almost there. So it could've easily been done on his behalf. Instead, he drives off, slowly turning the vehicle, but the lady didn't back away as he was pulling away, and I thought she was alarmingly close to the bus, hoping she would take a step back or something. Sure enough, the bus stops and the passengers' gazes are all headed out the window. They looked like they were watching a pigeon pick out some bread-crumbs. They started to mumble something. I see a head. I see a coat. I see the rest of the lady's body as it was lying on the concrete. The bus hit her and she was on the ground, seeming unconscious. I wanted to motion to the driver to open the doors, that she needs help. He was already out, checking the situation. The people (I think all of them elderly) were commenting "oh she was drunk, didn't you see her??" and "yeah, she's a drunk, she always comes around this area, walking around loaded" or "I just saw her collapse 3 more times just on her way to the bus, she's drunk out of her mind, leave her be". So, if someone is drunk, and it somehow causes a discomfort in the day's schedule for those people, we should let the bitch get run over by a bus. She deserves it. That bitch. How dare she attempt to drown her middle-age sorrows with booze and not take in the wonderful life that the country's and especially the capital's population so gently and flamboyantly has to offer? She had a bag and a backpack. The driver and two other men came to help her up. She wasn't bleeding from the head or anywhere, she got up and was crying. It was more of an inner-cry. No tears or snot. Just...a person who seems to be crying and drinking all the time, and then starting it all over the next day. They lifted the bag for her, but her backpack still lay on the ground, as it was soaking in the puddle it fell. It was still pouring outside. It almost seemed like the atmosphere and climate called for an incident like this. And the people. And the comments. She got on the bus - to the dismay of the passengers, who didn't seem to want her on, because they feared she would go on a drunk rant, and if someone's not doing ok and are in a bad state while it pours outside and it doesn't seem like they'll be doing pretty dandy after the sun comes up again either, the drunk just doesn't deserve to be treated like a human being, even granted a bus ride. Deep down, those people were almost sorry that she didn't just collapse and bleed to death. "Yeah, that's what she gets for being drunk...now you die, you drunk bitch! Fuck your colored bags and puffy eyes, and beaten-in nose, fuck all that you stand for, you made us be 2 minutes late and offered us the opportunity to take part in an exciting accident, but now you're ok, with your fucking colored bags and soaked clothes and all!". This man kept telling her that she's drunk and she should "lay off the fucking booze, why don't she". She initially mumbled "ah, why don't you shut up!". He kept at it, to which she replied, still mumbling while trying to regain balance, "if you only know the pains I go through, with or without the booze...". The bus stopped at the last station and most of the people got out. Not her. I went on hopping inbetween puddles, to avoid them, and headed to the music store to buy a pair of drum sticks for the drummer in the band I play guitar in. It's gonna pour like it started today, for the next two weeks.