I knew it

Had i known i will get this reply today...i still would've posted the previous post. Ha ha. It still had an impact, regardless of the fact that after i sent him an apology for the misspelling, he replied:

"Matei, it happens. No sweat. It's a real loss. Henry"

I feel ok again. It's fascinating how someone you care about can take everything away from you so quickly, leaving you feeling empty and in a shitholic state of mind...and then redeeming everything they took away in the first place just as quick. Restitutio In Integrum, if you will. It sounds creepy that i talk about him so obsessively, but he's just the scapegoat for what i'm trying to get across...to myself. And yet another example of foreign humor: This whole episode came form 10 words. 10 words that, if seen by a third party...ANY third party...they don;t really mean anything, just that i wrote something, and he let me know i spelled it wrong. End of discussion. See how important personal value is? It changes the perspective of a situation entirely. And see, I'm not a hypocrite, i DID say yesterday that i still respect this man and it changes nothing in my appreciation for him, Henry is still at the top for me. I wasn't expecting a reply. It's not like a break-up (although i did dare to make that comparison)...but in some ways it's worse. I had one of those feelings like in a relationship, when things are being said that can only DRIVE everything to fall apart. It's that little trigger that makes the whole gun fatal. It's when the bullets only cause bodily pain but don;t cause Death. But i can handle it from anyone...I've been shot many times. I say i can't...yet i go on. Something's done right. Well...WRONG form my actual perspective. But nevertheless, I'm here.

It's Hopper

so here's the email I sent:
"Hi Henry, no need to reply to this one either, i'm like a newsletter...

It's only May and there have been too many deaths that have occurred thus far in 2010.

Dennis Copper died.

You probably were already alerted about it, but...i hope that my emails won't be of such somber news from now on, like this one and my previous one with Dio was.

I hope your tour is going fine, best wishes from Romania. Since we're on the topic of Dennis Copper...i thought i could do worse than send a "ramonified" version of "Blue Velvet" which i recorded by myself some years ago, maybe 17 years old. I enclosed it just so i don't send the email bearing only the bad news about Dennis Copper."

and here's Henry's reply:
"It's Hopper.

Henry"


Holy shit. that laid into me really hard. i have an exam tomorrow and instead of continuing to study, i just stared blankly at the screen for almost 2 hours, thinking about this! WOW! This helped me realize what my exact relationship with Henry Rollins is: i think i'm obsessed with him. From just those 2 lines, those 3 words, those two proper nouns and one preposition....i felt exactly like i felt after the break-up with a certain someone that i was almost obsessed with and ended the relationship for no reason. Of course the context isn't the same, but my reaction was. And i realize that everytime i get an email from him...i always clench my teeth a bit, because i know it will be laconic, terse and cold - even when it's friendly. I looked up to him so much that i put everything that has to do with him on a pedestal. I am what I am today much because of him. In good and bad. In fact, most of the music i make now, has been influenced by stuff HE turned me onto along the years...so i basically make a lot of my music to impress HIM, like when a son is trying to make his dad proud that he learned something from him; a feeling i only READ about, but that's another story. I can expand on this analogy so much, because Henry was also like a father figure for me for such a long time, still continues to be, i partly grew up under his shadow. I owe a lot to him and anything he addresses directly to me has a HUGE impact.

So what i'm saying is....this email is a real eye-opener. It's a drag to fear everytime you open an email from someone you actually looked up to your whole life. It's hard to get a reaction that someone would get after doing something severely wrong, after embarrassing someone, after insulting someone. It's a drag to be put in place by someone you appreciate. It's a drag to be thought of as the ultimate idiot for just one simple mistake (i was actually a fan of Cop - i'm sorry - Hopper too, regardless of Henry). It's a drag to know you failed in the eyes of someone you always wanted to win for. It's a drag to get the total antithesis as a reply to a positive and passionate message you were trying to get across. It's a drag to be given the thumbs down before you even had the chance to prove yourself in front of someone. It's a drag to be like someone you look up to, and exactly that person to treat you like the last manner you wanna be treated in. It's a REAL drag to have your heart beat increase everytime you write a message thinking "i bet he'll put me down again...i should either watch my phrasing very carefully (which i always do anyway...even when i write him 3 rows - which you all know is really hard for me to achieve especially for someone that means as much as he does to me - i read and edit those words over and over until i can look at them bearing HIS mentality and judging them from HIS perspective) or not send it at all. And i wanna refrain for doing so but...it's so weird. It's weird to be someone's biggest fan yet to fear to address him directly, thinking that there's always a consequence.

It's a drag to give all you have good to give, and receive exactly the opposite in return. It cracks your face open, that's how hard it hits you. This doesn't mean i'll start to boycott him or anything, i'm still his biggest fan but knowing that he thinks i'm just another idiot when even i can admit he would probably find me quite interesting and similar to him,...if i managed to get him to think that...nothing is worse. For me. besides family. But at least i'm used with that. At least with family i'm obliged to be a fan...and quite often they make it easy. But when a peer makes you feel like a retarded unwanted child...

...then you KNOW that person has something special and arouses your interest even further. What a great ability to lay into people this hard. I rarely let people let me down even if they do the most malicious shit in the universe...but this is what happens when the elements of "obsession" or at least "appreciation" are inserted. I learned my lesson. But i'll probably repeat the same mistake because in this aspect...i have a disturbingly weak character. Shit. It's been three hours already. I guess he's like in the Chuck Norris jokes for me. Or like God for the christians. What if god would come down and say "i made you all just to mock you, you pieces of shit, you're a joke, how could you take yourselves seriously? You're all nothing and the more you inhale the air i provided you with, the more you shrink in my eyes, the more i wanna squash you all and make meat cloth patches out of your guts and wipe my ass with it." That's kind of what i interpreted from reading that.

I'm still a fan, but from now on...it'll just be weird. Everytime he'll say something i appreciate in an interview or on the radio show or anything that has to do with him...i'll get even madder...because i should've kept my mouth shut in the first place and i would've never known that from a certain point after hating certain people, it's inevitable you become a misanthrope. and 40 years of misanthropy on someone's shoulder...makes me appreciate the ART that he lays into people. Imagine how good at it he is. Imagine how good he is, when others think of me as callous and then just out of three words he wrote to me, i posted the longest thing on here thus far. Imagine how weak and naive i am and how cold and strong he is. Imagine how far i still have to go...

The bar was just raised.

Picture by me in 2007. me as in Matei. It's matei.

just for you

I started dancing lessons...just for you
I'm taking showers more often...just for you
I got a driver's license...just for you
I gotta buy a car now...just for me...i'm kidding, for you

I even gave up gambling...just for you
I even sold my X-Box...just for you
I stopped biting my nails...now i clip them
I'm learning how to cook food...without burning it...just for you

I'm shaving every other-day...just for you
I started shaving down south...just for you
I don't even smoke Marlboro's...anymore
I'd even give up drinking...but I'm not sure

I just sold my fleshlight...just for you
I even gave up wanking...just for you
I graduated high school...just for you
I just applied for college...just for you

Just for you I've changed, settled down, got a job, quit the band, left my friends, just to be all yours
Just for you I've changed, I became someone else, take me back!, watch me beg...on all fours

I started threatening people...just for you
My parents didn't even like you...now they do (*wink-wink*)
I even went to rehab...just for you
That didn't help me quit so I...went again...just for you

I stopped selling cocaine...now just weed
I even started learning...how to read
I bought a book about...raising a kid
I thought it'd never happen...but it did

I cut off all my long hair...now i use gel
I even started clubbing...just for you! oh well...
I'm looking out my window...you just fell (uh-oh)
Into the arms of some other guy...WHAT THE HELL?!?!??

(later...)

Now I'm a college drop-out...because of you
Now I'm shaving every leap year...because of you
I have a rash down south now...because of you
My fleshlight's now on eBay and I lost the bid...because of you

Just for you I tried to survive just on love, only love, on the love I've felt for you
And you let me down, down, there's no love, there's no God, there's just me...there's no more you

Soooooooooo...

I'm gonna grow my hair out...once again
I even started shooting heroin
Now i have no more limits...now I'm free
From now I'm gonna do what I want...just for me

Top 50 favorite Progressive albums

1) Sieges Even – Sense Of Change
"Not only my favorite prog album, but my favorite music album ever. This is God for me. There's no album i have ever listened to that i like more than this one. And you know what's weird? i haven't even listened to it that many times...you'd expect me to listen to it twice per hour, everyday for years on straight. But i was very cautious with it: during the first spins i decided i can't just listen to it anytime, anywhere...i decided i will only listen to it on very special occasions, in places that awaken something in me. It's gonna be like a reward. Kind of like everytime i listened to it, i marked some strong feeling that i had...about whatever that may have been. It's usually in places where nature in its purest form is most exposed to my eyes. And i HAVE to be alone when i listen to it. I made an exception when i saw them for the first time in Wien, Austria in 2007 (where i also sang some on "These Empty Places" the closing track of the album) but that impact didn't go "unrewarded", hence now i have a "These Empty Places" tattoo. There's too much to say about it. There's not enough praise in the whole english language to explain why i put it so high up on the pedestal. This is the perfect album for me. Rush mixed with Watchtower, King Crimson, Julian Bream, Bill Evans...everything i need. Probably the most underrated album in history."

2) King Crimson – In The Court Of The Crimson King

"I know it's only 5 songs long and doesn't portray the later genius of Robert Fripp's David Lynchian approach on music...but it was what marked King Crimson on the Prog map. The songs are so beautiful, yet at some moments, so grotesque. Sadness smothers this album. If you're in a bad mood, or on a bad trip, it can be the most suicidal album you've ever heard. If you're in love or have a strong personal satisfaction about a certain achievement/moment in your life...it'll be the album that gives even more value to that what you've felt before pressing play. It's an album SO strong that it can work both ways, yes. From the very classic cover to even the fonts on the booklet...everything about this album is divine. I guess that makes the whole album divine."

3) Dreamscape – Very
"OOOH talk about underrated, unfortunately Dreamscape are considered just 'one of those bands swimming in the sea of german progressive metal'. But this album is above them all. A soft voice that contrasts the heavy and melodic instrumental section so well, every songs sends chills down my spine, no matter how many times i listen to it. Like the two albums above, this one is not one that i listen to whenever i wish...but only when i find myself in some strong state of sad emotions. Nevertheless, it somehow lifts me up from the gutter."

4) Fates Warning – Inside Out
"This is an album i grew up with. It's right up my alley. Very expressive vocals, melodic yet unconventional guitar harmonies, a Yes/Genesis/80's King Crimson rhythm section...all of that on Metal Blade Records! Who would've thought? Each song is like a continuation of the one preceding it, it's a pleasure to listen to it. Everytime."

5) Rush – 2112 / Hemispheres
"Tony Choy also claims this is his favorite album but he kept trying to convince me it was done live. I still am not certain of it, but even if it wasn't done live, i think it's Rush at their finest. Just before this album "Caress of Steel" was offered to us by this fine Canadian trio, which to be honest, doesn't compare with '2112'. And to be just as honest, nothing they did ever since is quite of the same magnitude. Maybe i'm also considering the sudden change form 'Caress...' to this one...but since 2112, Rush had the same style...and it's not like any of them got better at their instruments since that album; they were already the best musicians in Canada at this point. I find it to be their peak. The Starman logo was born, it's also one of the best conceptual albums of all time...everything is so well thought out, Neil Peart's lyrics have a personality of their own...this album is like the Star Trek of prog with its own language...instead of Klingonian...it's the music. It's an album for musicians as well as an album for fans. It draws the two together...which is something that's rarely achieved. RUUUUSHHH!!!"

6) Camel – The Snow Goose
"Another very underestimated band. People usually have just heard of the eponymous cigarette brand (which has a direct link to Camel's 'Mirage' album but that's another story). This is a conceptual album in which you don't realize when the next track starts. It's one big track with no gaps almost. Aren't those the best?? It's pretty much a sonic journey where we join Rhayader as he wanders through the world. Oh boy was it hard for me to pick just one Camel album to place in the top 10...i think they're all genius. I picked this one because it has more tracks than the other, because it's conceptual, because it's mostly instrumental...but i love the other ones just as much. This one was the first i listened to, though. It drew me right in..."

7) Eloy – Ocean

"Space rock alert, space rock alert! Pink Floyd, Camel, Hawkwind, Can, Klaus Schulze...all mashed up into one album. Of course, it's a conceptual one as well and of course it only has a few tracks on it (4). By now i think you get what i'm into in terms of these classic albums. Just lay back and let Eloy tell you about the tales of Poseidon and his daughter, their worries, their empire...it's not even necessary to be on LSD or acid, the music itself does the trick for you. It's really trippy, really beautiful, the musicianship is amazing, but the whole atmosphere it creates is very strong. You won;t know what hit you after you're finished with it...and that's how addiction starts. This album is evidence of genius in an ensemble of music-inclined minds."

8) Enchant – Tug Of War
"Hmm...i'd dare to call this album a prog/emo album. I usually listen to it during the winter, at night, at the mountainside...when i'm thinking of a girl (not in that way, you schmucks). I mostly listen to this album when i wanna victimize myself, i'll admit. Mostly when i really like a girl (well there has been only one so far that i was with considering the circumstances i mentioned above...so this album won;t get played until another chance like that comes along...goddamnit!) and i play a scenario out in my mind, about how i would want it to be...and how it's actually gonna be. Personally, it's a good relationship brainstorming listen, but it can be used for other purposes as well. I tried to listen to it in other environments and it just feels weird. So to recap: winter, mountainside, night, someone special...basically, the closest you get to a tale. That sounded very homosexual, but for this album, i won;t even try to change that. It's just how it is for me..."

9) Watchtower – Control And Resistance
"Notice i didn't even place this album in the 'Fav Thrash albums' section...because it crossed the line between thrash metal and beyond even more than 'Energetic Disassembly' did. On this album we meet guitar mad scientist virtuoso Ron Jarzombek, while maintaining the same rhythm section (listed as my #2 favorite rhythm section), and the vocalist from Hades, Alan Tecchio, whose voice even though slightly different than Jason McMaster's, doesn't only NOT disappoint, but keeps the Watchtower vocal "bar" just as high...maybe lifts it up even a bit higher through some tricks he uses in such songs as the title track. So basically the only change on this album is the arrival of a better guitarist who brought a style of his own along with him, a style that has been imitated by numerous other amazing (and few/select) musicians ever since. He gave a fresh breath of originality to 'Tower (as if they didn't already have it..) and made this album, their second and last one so far, another classic in rock history. Still fresh after so many years. Still sounds unearthly and no one came close to their musicianship ever since. I don't see that happening very soon either..."

10) Aghora – Aghora

"What a pleasure it was to hear this album for the first time in 2000. Everyone was wondering what the Seans (Reinart and Malone) from Cynic were up to after the break-up of Cynic/Portal. Well the wait was so worth it, because Santiago Dobles, a new guitar virtuoso has contacted them for this debut album, heavy Progressive ORIENTAL metal at its best, with great female vocals. It's very distinct from most prog releases. Santiago started us strong with a style of his own on this album, and we get to see another side of what the Seans are capable of, different from what they did with Cynic/Death. It's an amazing album and the sound is just as prominent. The second and last Aghora album wasn't as good, but then again...few things will be."

11) Dan Swano – Moontower

12) Symphony X – The Odyssey

13) King Crimson – In The Wake Of Poseidon / Lizard

14) Dominici – Trilogy: Part 2 / Trilogy: Part 3

15) Adagio – Underworld

16) Dream Theater – Images And Words

17) Gordian Knot – Gordian Knot / Emergent

18) Rush – Grace Under Pressure

19) Voivod – Angel Rat

20) Spheric Universe Experience – Mental Torments

21) Ice Age – The Great Divide

22) Rush – Moving Pictures

23) King Crimson – Beat / Three Of A Perfect Pair

24) Sieges Even – Paramount / The Art Of Navigating By The Stars

25) Trans-Siberian Orchestra – Beethoven’s Last Night

26) Spastic Ink – Ink Complete / Ink Compatible

27) Anomaly – Anomaly

28) Spiral Architect – A Sceptic’s Universe

29) Linear Sphere – Reality Dysfunction

30) Mekong Delta – The Music Of Erich Zahn

31) King Crimson – Red / Starless and Bible Black

32) Psycho Symphony – Schizoid / Silent Fall

33) Gentle Giant – Acquiring The Taste

34) Sieges Even – Sophisticated / Uneven

35) Liquid Tension Experiment – I / II

36) Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor / Enemies Of Reality

37) Time Requiem – Time Requiem

38) Superior – Behind

39) Trivial Act – Mindscape

40) Mekong Delta – Dances Of Death

41) Garden Wall – Path Of Dreams

42) Ark – Burn The Sun

43) Chrome Shift – Ripples In Time

44) Alarum – Eventuality

45) Thought Chamber – Angular Perceptions

46) Peter Gabriel – So

47) Blind Illusion – The Sane Asylum

48) Control Denied – The Fragile Art Of Existence

49) Disharmonic Orchestra – Not To Be Undimensional Conscious

50) The Flower Kings – The Road Back Home

Top 30 favorite Heavy Metal albums

1) Dio – Holy Diver
"The definitive Heavy Metal album! The best heavy metal vocalist, backed up by one of the heaviest drummers still in the business, Vinnie Appice (Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell), Jimmy Bain (Dio's pal from the Rainbow days) and guitarist Vivian Campbell (later in Def Leppard, Thin Lizzy, etc.). Anyway...there isn't ONE bad moment on this album, it will have your full attention and cause chills down your spine from the opening riff in "Stand Up And Shout" until the fade-out of the closer "Shame On The Night"...so SHAME ON YOU if you don;t think this album deserves to be the heavy metal soundtrack of everyone's life. The guitar harmonies....so much melody, so much heaviness yet so much sensitivity, perfectly contoured by Dio's godly voice. Full of lyrical messages that will apply to anyone's daily situations for centuries to come. An album of a heavy metal prophet, this one is, if you ask me. Perfection. Every song is catchy, every song is a classic. Look Out!!!"

2) King Diamond – Abigail / Them
"Although they stir up different atmospheres when i listen to these albums, i couldn't help but to put them on the same rank...because both of these atmospheres always make me enter another constant King phase for a week. I get really into it too. i start learning songs off all the albums in shorter periods of time than i would expect, i start thinking in terms of concepts, i start to feel possessed by the guitar works of six-string extraordinaire Andy LaRocque (i.e. one day i just decided it's time to get the tattoo...i'll never get fed up of this band, its discography, its history, its reputation, the mood it creates, the impact King had on me). It reeks of originality, King still does to this day. The best concept albums in metal, a new style has been created. A style that only King Diamond can elaborate upon. The ones that try...are obviously influenced by him. It's so easy to tell...you can set King apart in any song. "Abigail" is among the most evil albums ever recorded, and i never listen so "Them" unless i'm in some attic. Hint: ALWAYS listen to KD at night. Otherwise...you're ruining everything!"

3) Black Sabbath – Heaven & Hell / Mob Rules
"They're the last two masterpieces Dio did before releasing his first solo album (see #1 in the top). I can't really say enough praises about these albums. For me...they were the first actual heavy metal albums ever. nothing sounded quite like this before and everything sounded very similar to this afterwards. I think Tony Iommi, Geezer Buttler, Bill Ward and then Vinnie Appice made one of the finest decisions in music history for co-opting Dio for the vocal duties. Flawless albums! Sabbath really set the standard for what Heavy Metal means as we know it today through these two opuses."

4) Manowar – Louder Than Hell
"I believe Eric Adams' vocals stand out the most on this album. The man has so much passion in his voice, it's ridiculous. I have heard few who have the same charisma, power and aggression in their throats, and the instrumental section isn't too shabby either. Karl Logan does a face-melting solo that's perfect for a heavy metal show-off guitarist...and the songs will have you tearing down fences and riding choppers for days and nights on...if you're into this sort of things. It's an album that is dead-set on awakening the flame of passion in anyone who has a heart. And loves metal of course. This album is like the gospel of Heavy Metal."

5) Blind Guardian – A Night At The Opera
"Even though the title might suggest it anyway, it wouldn't be necessary for the album to be compared to the genius of Queen. But it is. It's beyond the Queen in heavy metal, Blind Guardian are at their peak on this album. Hansi Kusch is one of the best metal vocalists alive, Oliver Holzwarth, my friend from Sieges Even, has some amazing bass highlights, the guitars have a sound that can already be distinguished as Blind Guardian on any recordings, it's the most creative on this album, the drums are perfect, but the songs and structures??? Forget about it, no one comes CLOSE to what you can hear on this album. Everytime i listen to it, it's like the first time. And the first time i listened to it...well i'm kind of embarrassed to say what happened. It involved pants...that were mine. It's too new to be put higher up, but i would've. I'll let it age for a bit....like wine."

6) Sinergy – Suicide By My Side
"I think Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom) is actually at his best on this album. I'm a huge fan of his work even though it's overrated, i can't deny a part of what determined me to start playing the axe. But this album has some of the best solos in metal, the best riffs in modern metal, the best sounds of a metal album...and Kimberly Goss' vocals absolutely kick everyone's ass!!! She's like the female Eric Adams...with balls (not to be confused with the actual Eric Adams, cause Kimberly's got TWO pairs)! It's just a real pleasure to listen to it from 00:01 to the saddest part of the album, 37:49, which is a second before the album ends. It's a really powerful release and i've heard few of this magnitude since!"

7) Vicious Rumors – Vicious Rumors
"Oh, Carl Albert, where art thou with thy metal angelic voice of thee?? I don't know what caused me to start this out so dramatic, but this album features another one of the finest vocalists in metal...that passed away. So: the vocals get a 100/10, no use to further ramble on about them, that's the voice any metalhead wishes they could have; the guitar work is just as fine as the vocal work (the solos are amazing, really creative, well thought-out) and the rhythm section is solid as a rock as well. Another mandatory listen if you're into heavy metal, this one flirts with thrash and speed metal too so it gets many bonus points form me. Plus the hooks and melodies that smother the album (in a good way) make my body manifest itself independently from my ability to control it when playing this record. I think it's a natural reaction..."

8) Stormwitch – The Beauty And The Beast
"Among the most underrated albums in Metal. WHY????? It's not only my favorite german heavy metal album, but it kicks the ass of so many bands that they were probably trying to imitate. It's got that horror feel to it too so for a King Diamond fan...it's a nut-busting album! From the opener, the title track, the albums maintains its genius and constant hooks, by the end of the listen you'll wonder how time flew by so fast...and that's the first symptom that tells you 'Beauty And The Beast' is starting to grow on you. A very awesome album!!!"

9) Manilla Road – Crystal Logic
"Among the most old-school releases in heavy metal. Classic! "Necropolis" should be the anthem of heavy metal, seriously. It's the perfect heavy metal song, Mark Shelton's voice has a sound of its own that have turned this album into an instant heavy metal classic, the sound is not of the best quality...which is the reason why it's among the most favored cult albums out there. I love this album from the bottom of my metal heart (Accept pun intended)."

10) Rainbow – Rising
"Actually, i take back what i said at #3...it was Dio's work on THIS album that helped shape Heavy Metal definitively. That is to say...i don't think #3 would've happened without this album. And it's Richie Blackmore (Deep Purple) on guitar, some of his best work can be found on this 6-track only magnificent opus. And....if "Manilla Road's 'Necropolis' isn't made the official heavy metal anthem...then why not make 'Stargazer' what weaker songs like "Fear Of the Dark" or "Breaking The Law" are today??? because that song, along with the whole album, ARE Heavy Metal. The real deal."

11) Black Sabbath – Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
12) King Diamond – Conspiracy
13) Scorpions – Best Of
14) Judas Priest – Ram It Down
15) Ozzy Osbourne – Blizzard Of Oz
16) Savatage – Hall Of The Mountain
17) Avantasia – Metal Opera 1
18) Helloween – Keeper of The Seven Keys 1
19) Hammerfall – Legacy Of Kings / Crimson Thunder
20) Queensryche – Operation: Mindcrime
21) Primal Fear – Devil’s Ground
22) King Diamond – Fatal Portrait / The Eye
23) Morgana Lefay – Sanctified
24) Dokken – Best Of Dokken
25) Accept – Balls To The Wall
26) Demon – The Unexpected Guest
27) Rainbow – Long Live Rock ‘n’ Roll
28) Yngwie Malmsteen – Rising Force
29) Jag Panzer – Age Of Mastery
30) Iced Earth – Night Of The Stormrider / Iced Earth
31) Iron Maiden – Powerslave / Brave New World
32) Dio - The Last In Line
33) Mercyful Fate – Don’t Break The Oath
34) Racer X – Street Lethal
35) Mercyful Fate – Melissa

Dio

My favorite vocalist died. What a low blow! Someone up there got pissed at him for using the moniker "Heaven & Hell" i guess. I only saw the Dio three times in my life, the first time was also the first time i've heard about him (with Motorhead, both opening for Iron Maiden...at the Cricket Pavilion in Phoenix, AZ 2003), and he instantly caught my interest...so much that i bought all albums in original the next day. A week later i was making scenarios in my head about how i would've reacted at that show (after hearing Dio, Maiden seemed like little baby-posers and Motorhead like utter shit). In fact i sometimes still think about that. It was a perfect show. Then i saw him play solo in Phoenix...i still have the flyer, i think it was the Dodge Theater? That's right...but it ended to soon. The last time i saw him was with the mighty Black Sabbath instrumental section, Heaven & Hell at Hellfest 2009...one of the best shows i ever saw (right after they sang, Saint Vitus came on stage...what a night). But that show too, ended too soon. It just goes to show that "Dio: the show" ended too soon. Way too soon. Someone that makes my hairs stand-up everytime he sings and hasn't changed his voice ever since he was in Elf and other early bands in the 60's...it's really unfair. I was supposed to see him in Romania with Heaven & Hell, on the day with the big four. What a day that would've been. Maybe even get to meet him, i would've done my best.
In conclusion, my favorite vocalist died on the 16th of May 2010. Now...you know what music means for me...so "favorite vocalist" should imply that it's quite a serious loss for me. Picture taken by me at hellfest.

man

This just in! In order to make the leaving process seem as done in amiable terms, you have to work WITH the organism, NOT AGAINST it. You have to reach a consensus, in which the pain is somewhat bearable and worth the few last heartbeats. Don't torture yourself, your shell doesn't have a fault, don't leave a mess, it would've worked just fine with another brain...
On the other hand, the brain has involuntary functions as well as voluntary control over muscles and actions. One can also have moments of clarity. Wait i'm wrong...the moments of clarity make up the most percentage of it...so the dark thoughts that reside somewhere in the brain's ghetto are the mere minority. Now before you make the decision, make sure to ask yourself..."is that little speck of madness really worth shutting down the whole system?". If it the clouds pile denser and denser over your clarity...then it's a spreading virus, a wretched weed, a well distributed ivy in the form of looney-flyers. It's the only way it can be stopped. Although...it's not visible. It's all in your mind, like a movie of your brain. Isn't that interesting? Those who know what i'm talking about...are likely to have the same problem. This just shows you that the smallest things are often the most important ones.

intricate digits

Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. EVeryone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed ion me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disapoointed in me. EEveryone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me, Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. EEveryone's disappointed in me. veryones disappointed in me. everyone's dispaointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. EVeryone's disapointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. eVeryone's disappiunted in me. Everyone's disappointed in me. They say i make mistakes...

Everyone's pointing fingers at me. Pointing so many fingers that i can't even make out from whose hands those fingers are coming from. I bet they can't either. I bet those fingers got pointed at me so much, they have a mind of their own now. They point out of reflex. It's like they zap me when they point! So much passion, they're like James Brown fingers! And those fingers made friends with others every time they were pointing at me...so they started mating and started having little baby fingers, which grew up into great handsome stallion fingers, who follow the same process their parents followed, so they never stop coming. But there's so many now that there's a new problem: stray fingers! The pointing digits started over"fingering" (populating) my spectrum so now it's anarchy. There's so many fingers pointing at me that i just cannot tell them apart anymore, i think they're starting to get entangled. Well...let them! Let them tie themselves up in knots and not know why they're pointing anymore, i can't do shit about it, i can't disentangle them. Cause everyone's disappointed in me. Everyone's disappointed in me...(and so on..)

fuck 'em, thought I

I'm selfish??? The only constructive aspect that you get out of throwing words around like wasting water, is the deconstruction of that tension that's been building up. But that piece of tension isn't gone, you just loaned it to ME. Soon enough, you'll encounter something else that will fill that gap...and i'm stuck with an additional source of stress. Talk about imbalance! And OH, i'm like my biological father, really?? ...Well, yes i'll admit that a lot of the behavior we hate in him can be found in me as well...but i guess that's a genetic trait, cause i spend as much time with him as Nicole Richie spends eating, there's no time for his behavior to rub off on me! And even though i know this comparison isn't fair...my constant mistake is that i constantly try to put myself in your shoes as well...and start seeing things the way you see them. Therefore i start blaming myself and i think you're right, but the other part of me doesn't know why!?! so then I'M turned against myself...yet i still wish you ill!! How does that work?? Whose side am i on? both and none.
Now...if my mind is so self-destructive that it's willing to turn itself against me just so it gives you false justice, to take off tension...I'm selfish???

Ask and you shall receive.

You want selfish?? You know, maybe i behave the way i do because i feel i have nothing more to lose. Maybe that blank stare in my eyes are the eyes of someone that has nothing more to lose and has taken all the consequences upon oneself. If the only reason keeping me in this shape has turned against me...well it's time to get the hell out of there, right? I can do that whenever i can, but if you called me selfish all along, i'll get the hell out in a selfish manner. Meaning: doing it anytime, so it takes you by surprise when you least expect it, and on top of it, my favorite, to not leave one single note, one single word, one single sign, one single CLUE on my body or on anything else, as for the reason that it happened for. This way, i'll be selfish even afterward too, because i'll KNOW that like a dark cloud in a surrealist cartoon, like a gray aura, a question will float around you (and everyone else who understood what writes this even less than you did) ubiquitously..."why???". Touche!

Fish has been sold.

Top 20 Doom Metal Albums

1) Saint Vitus – Saint Vitus
"The definitive album of doom metal. Scott Reagers is my favorite doom metal vocalist because he basically sounds like a ghoul. That's the most doom metal vocalist you will ever hear. Doom metal has to be eerie, and Scott is just that. Dave, Mark and Armando provide the perfect background and the perfect riffs for Scott's vocals, the lyrics are about psychopaths and Zombies...i'm telling you if Black Sabbath didn't convince you to get into doom metal, this album will help you make the decision immediately. It's one of those albums that everyone wishes they have written. But they didn't. And now we all feel inferior, yet we bow down to the mighty Saint Vitus."

2) Candlemass – Epicus Doomicus Metalicus
"This was number one for me before i heard Vitus. This is epic doom metal, it's another form. This type of doom metal is conceptual, somewhat religious and very dramatic. This album is epic doom metal at its best, in fact this album defined epic doom metal, as the "latin" terms give the title of the album so it's easier to identify the source of this sub-genre. Messiah's vocals are melodic, yet groundbreaking. A milestone in metal, a must have for any rock music lover who respects himself, otherwise they will be doomed to open the DEMON'S GATE, where they will suffer in SOLITUDE after they have hung themselves UNDER THE OAK, their soul being sold for a BLACK STONE WIELDER...well at least this is the SORCERER'S PLedge....and what he saw in THE CRYYYYSTAL BAAAALLL!!! No pun intended"

3) Confessor – Condemned
"If you know me, you know i like technical/progressive forms of music a lot. Confessor was (and still is) the first technical/progressive doom metal band...nothing compares itself to this album. The drums are so complex that Steve Shelton is a stand-alone drummer in his right and should have a statue built in every country, Scott Jeffrey's vocals resembles Geddy Lee's (Rush), Rob Halford's (Judas Priest) or Jason McMaster's (Watchtower), and the guitars and bass make the most pissed off doom riffs. So three totally different elements mixed together are bound to make something unique...and colossal!!!"

4) Black Sabbath – Vol. 4 / Master Of Reality
"It'll probably be the shortest description. It's Black Sabbath for bible's sake! They took what were the heaviest sounds that came before them...and then topped them. Topped all. The first form of metal was doom metal...thanks to black sabbath. That's why doom metal will never stop being old-school. These albums are so ahead of their time compared to what was around, it;s ridiculous!"

5) Pentagram – Day Of Reckoning
"The riffs Black Sabbath never wrote! Pentagram will crush your face. Bobby Liebling has a lot Ozzy in him but steps it up a notch. His voice is more macabre, the riffs are way more pissed off than Sabbath's...the music breaks doom metal boundaries. These guys crushed everything in their way and it's hard for me not to place them even higher up...number 5 is not really where they were meant to be put but if it was up to me, i would put the first top 5 on the same rank. Then it would be a top 12."

6) Trouble – Psalm 9
"Another sample of epic doom metal, this time we get introduced to another original and legendary doom metal vocalist, Eric Wagner, another form of macabre voice...in a different way. High-pitched yet evil as fuck. And the concept, the riffs...everything is so impeccably put together. I love it!"

7) Solitude Aeturnus – Beyond the Crimson Horizon
"What? Epic doom metal again? Well yes, because it's different from trouble and Candlemass. And to prove it, when i listen to the current Candlemass with SA's Robert Lowe on vocals...i hear a Solitude Aeturnus vocal track with a Candlemass instrumental..not Candlemass. Rob Lowe gives SA the personality it has, but that isn't to say the other musicians aren't crushing as well. In fact through this album it's the closest a doom metal band ever got to Confessor's 'Condemned' writing style. This is truly a beautiful album."

8) My Dying Bride – The Dreadful Hours
"A new form of doom. The growling kind. Influenced by Cathedral probably, MDB arose at the same time with Paradise Lost, early Cradle Of Filth and early Anathema, but something set them apart. The Violin, certainly...they just expressed a different sadness and doom than the rest of the bands...i don't know, they were unique from the beginning i knew that they would change their sound and create something totally unique...and they did! Aaron managed to turn this band into a personal sad masterpiece, this album expresses their best work, it's the most concise. 'Songs of Darkness...' is just as great but...this came first...and is better. It's amazing!"

9) Witchfinder General – Death Penalty
"Can you believe that these guys came out of the NWOBHM storm of bands? Every other NWOBHM band sounded almost the same, but these guys' parents probably swallowed some Black Sabbath, Budgie and Blue Cheer tapes that made their way into the uterus, crawling their way into WFG's members' ears, so they came out with doom metal in their veins. The sound and everything on this album is so doom and old-school, it's impossible not to love it. i know I do!"

10) The Obsessed – Incarnate
"Wino's primordial band. It's obvious that besides Saint Vitus, his heart always belonged to The Obsessed...everything comes together slightly better than anything else he ever worked on. The Obsessed is fueled with hate and a somber yet angry atmosphere. Henry Rollins once said 'every time Wino plays his guitar...someone's lawn dies'. I don't have a lawn...by choice! I knew that if i owned one and i listen to the Obsessed...the two elements would clash!"

11) Anathema - The Silent Enigma

12) Sleep – Holy Mountain

13) Katatonia – Brave Murder Day

14) Saint Vitus – Hallow’s Victim/Born Too Late/Die Healing

15) Count Raven - Destruction Of The Void

16) Cathedral – Forest Of Equilibrium

17) Memento Mori – Life, Death And Other Morbid Tales

18) Paul Chain - Life And Death

19) Pagan Altar - Volume 1

20) Black Hole - Land Of Mystery

13 Albums that represent the early California Punk Scene (chronological)

1) The Screamers – Demos 1977-1978

2) The Germs – G.I.

3) The Weirdos – Weird World 1 & 2

4) X – Los Angeles

5) The Avenegers – The Avengers

6) The Bags – Survival EP

7) The Sleepers – Seventh World EP

8) The Mutants – Fun Terminal

9) Negative Trend – We Don’t Play We Riot

10) The Dils – The Dils 1977-1979

11) The Dickies – The Incredible Shrinking Dickies

12) Black Flag – Nervous Breakdown / Jealous Again

13) Middle Class - Out Of Vogue

11 Albums early New York Punk Scene (order of importance)

1) The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico (1967)

2) Suicide – First Album (1977)

3) The New York Dolls – The New York Dolls (1973)

4) Dictators – Dictators Go Girl Crazy (1975)

5) Ramones – Ramones (1976)

6) Television – Marquee Moon (1977)

7) Blondie – Blondie / Plastic Letters / Parallel Lines (1976)

8) Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers – L.A.M.F. (1977)

9) Richard Hell & The Voidoids – Blank Generation (1977)

10) Dead Boys – Young, Loud And Snotty (1977)

11) Talking Heads – Talking Heads: 77 (1977)

Datele exacte sau măcar estimate cât mai apropiat de cele reale ale apariţiilor formaţiilor contează foarte mult în lumea muzicii, pentru că noi astăzi suntem răsfăţaţi cu extrem de multă muzică şi nu putem aprecia impactul unor formaţii al unei perioade anumite aşa cum se cuvine. Formaţiile pe care le auzim în ziua de astăzi la radio, oferă câteodată ceva nou faţă de ce s-a făcut până acum, dar ele au fost puternic influenţate de cele de mai de mult şi chiar nu ar fi existat fără acestea. Aşa că de fiecare dată când cineva a avut o idee nouă în materie de muzică, a stârnit controvers în jur, a atras atenţia unor fani, acei fani au alcătuit un cerc în jurul formaţiei, din acel cerc poate unii şi-au format propriile formaţii fiind influenţaţi de acea formaţie şi uite aşa formaţia X (nu formaţia propriu-zisă X) a intrat în istoria muzicii, catalogată ca inovatoare a unui nou curent. Acesta este cel mai important aspect şi cea mai mare reuşită (nu atât patrimonială cât sufletească) pentru membrii unei formaţii, zic eu. Iar datele (anii şi câteodată chiar lunile) sunt cele mai de preţ dovezi care pot atesta contribuţia unor formaţii în lumea muzicii.

Top 25 Influential Men for me

1) Henry Rollins

2) Steve Flynn

3) Jello Biafra

4) Stephen Colbert

5) Vincent Price

6) Alan Vega

7) Glenn Danzig

8) Jack Loyd Grisham

9) Bill Hicks

10) John Lydon

11) Tom Gabriel Fischer

12) Iggy Pop

13) Charles Manson

14) Dave Vanian

15) Jim Morrison

16) Trey Azagthoth

17) Nick Cave

18) Ronnie James Dio

19) Bruce Loose

20) Meat Loaf

21) Keith Morris

22) Geoffrey Rush

23) Michael Gira

24) Wino

25) H.R.

Top 10 Record Labels

1) SST Records

2) Combat Records

3) Touch & Go Records

4) Seasons Of Mist Records

5) Alternative Tentacles Records

6) Roadrunner Records (old)

7) InsideOUt Music

8) Frontier Records / Slash Records

9) Earache Records (old) / Nuclear Blast Records (old)

10) Teenbeat Records

11) Stiff Records

Top 15 Miscellaneous guitarists

1) Mike Stern

2) Pat Metheny

3) Allan Holdsworth

4) John Mclaughlin (Mahavishnu Orchestra)

5) Robert Fripp (King Crimson)

6) Captain Sensible (The Damned)

7) Czral (Ved Buens Ende, Virus)

8) Omar Rodriguez-Lopez (The Mars Volta)

9) J Mascis (Dinosaur Jr.)

10) Joe Baiza (Saccharine Trust) / Henry Kaiser (Crazy Backwards Alphabet)

11) Syd Barret (Pink Floyd) / David Gilmour (Pink Floyd)

12) Tom Verlaine (Television) / Chris Stein (Blondie)

13) Rowland S. Howard (The Birthday Party)

14) Pete Townshend (The Who)

15) Greg Ginn (Black Flag)

Top 20 metal guitarists

1) Andy Laroque (King Diamond, Death) / Mr. Tony MacAlpine

2) )Yngwie Malmsteen / Vinnie Moore

3) Ron Jarzombek (Spastic Ink, Watchtower, gordian knot, Blotted Science)

4) Markus Steffan (Sieges Even, SubSignal) / Paul Gilbert (Racer X, Mr. Big)

5) Jason Becker (...Cacophony)

6) Mike Davis (Nocturnus)

7) Chris Broderick (Jag Panzer. Nevermore, Megadeth)

8) Muhammed Suicmez (necrophagist) / Paul Masvidal (Cynic)

9) Jeff Waters (Annihilator) / Jeff Loomis (Nevermore)

10) Trey Azagthoth (Morbid Angel)

11) Daniel Mongrain / Martin Carbonneau (Martyr)

12) Michael Romeo (symphony x) / John Petrucci (dream theater/liquid tension experiment)

13) Stephan Forte (adagio) / Wolfgang Kerinnis (dreamscape)

14) Santiago Dobles (aghora) / Andrei Popa (Illuminati, Cyborg)

15) Michael Estes (acheron)

16) Larry Barragan /Andre Corbin (helstar)

17) Alex Skolnick (testament)/ Josh Christian (Toxik)

18) Marty Friedman (megadeth, cacophony, hawaii, vixen)

19) Alexi Laiho (c.o.b.)

20) Chuck Schuldiner (death) / Emil Werstler (Daath)

Top 30 Miscellaneous Vocalists

1) Dave Vanian (the Damned)

2) Diamanda Galas

3) Roy Orbison

4) Janis Joplin

5) Jim Morrison (the Doors)

6) Alan Vega (...Suicide)

7) Jello Biafra (...Dead Kennedys, Lard)

8) James Brown

9) Cedric Bixler-Zavala (The Mars Volta)

10) Iggy Pop (The Stooges)

11) Nick Cave (Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Grinderman, Birthday Party)

12) Debbie Harry (Blondie)

13) Jack Grisham (T.S.O.L.)

14) Jinx Dawson (Coven) / F- The Mouth Of Satan (the Devil's Blood)

15) Julee Cruise

16) Kimberly Goss (Sinergy)

17) Gary Floyd (the dicks, sister double happiness)

18) Floor Jansen (After Forever)

19) Bing Crosby / Dean Martin

20) Guy Piciotto (Fugazi, One Last Wish, Rites Of Spring, Happy Go Licky)

21) Adrian Belew (King Crimson)

22) Jeffrey Lee Pierce (The Gun Club) / Bobby Vinton

23) H.R. (Bad Brains)

24) John Lydon (Sex Pistols, Public Image Limited)

25) Henry Rollins (black flag, s.o.a., rollins band) / Keith Morris (black flag, circle jerks)

26) Michael Gira ($wans)

27) Blixa Bargeld (Einsturzende Neubauten)

28) Roky Erickson (13th Floor Elevators)

29) Bruce Loose (Flipper)

30) Nico (The Velvet Underground)

Top 15 Metal Bassists

1) Tony Choy (atheist, cynic, pestilence, area 305)

2) Doug Keyser (watchtower)

3) Jaco Pastorius (The Weather Report)

4) Oliver Holzwarth (Sieges Even) / Geddy Lee (Rush)

5) Sean Malone (cynic,aghora, aeon spoke, gordian knot)

6) Tony Levin (King Crimson, Liquid Tension Experiment)

7) Roger Patterson (atheist, R.I.P.)

8) Mike Watt (Minutemen)

9) John Entwistle (The Who)

10) Lars K. Norberg (spiral architect) / Pete Perez (spastic ink)

11) Alan Goldstein (aghora)

12) Billy Sheehan (Mr. Big) / Kyle Honea

13) Jerry Abarca (helstar)

14) Ron Broder (coroner)

15) Geezer Butler (this needs no introduction) (but Black Sabbath)

Top 10 Miscellaneous drummers

1) Buddy Rich

2) Billy Cobham (...Mahavishnu Orchestra, Miles Davis)

3) Neil Peart (Rush)

4) Dennis Chambers

5) Keith Moon (The Who)

6) Dave Weckl

7) Bill Bruford (King Crimson)

8) Chuck Biscuits (The Misfits, Samhain, Danzig, Black Flag, Circle Jerks, D.O.A., Run-DMC, Social Distortion)

9) Phil Collins (Brand X, Genesis)

10) George Hurley (The Minutemen, fIREHOSE)

Top 10 Metal Drummers

1) Mr.Steve Flynn (Atheist, Gnostic)

2) Rick Colaluca (watchtower)

3) Stephen Shelton (Confessor)

4) Bobby Jarzombek (spastic ink)

5) Alex Holzwarth (Sieges Even)

6) Sean Reinart (cynic, death, aghora, aeon spoke, gordian knot) / Ady Tabacaru (Taine)

7) Morgan Agren / Thomas Haake (Meshuggah)

8) Gene Hoglan (dark angel, death, control denied, strapping young lad, old man's child)

9) Richard Christy (death, control denied, acheron)

10) Pete Sandoval (Morbid Angel, Terrorizer)

Top 25 Metal Vocalists

1) (the) Ronnie James Dio (dio, rainbow, black sabbath, elf)



2) Meat Loaf



3) Scott Reagers (Saint VituS)



4) Glenn Danzig (danzig, misfits, samhain)



5) Jon Oliva (savatage, jon oliva's pain, trans-siberian orchestra)



6) John Tardy (obituary)



7) Arno Menses (Sieges Even, Bonebag) / Jogi Kaiser (Sieges Even) / Greg Keller (Sieges Even)



8) King Diamond (king diamond, mercyful fate)



9) Chuck Billy (TestAmenT)/ David Wayne (Metal Church)



10) Steve Grimmet (Grim Reaper, Onslaught, Lionsheart) / Carl Albert (Vicious Rumors)



11) Tom G. Warrior (celtic frost, hellhammer, apollyon sun)



12) Hansi Kursch (blind guardian, demons & wizards)/ Josh Pinkus (Ice Age)



13) Eric Adams (manowar)


14) Maynard James Keenan (Tool, A Perfect Circle) / Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)


15) George Fischer (cannibal corpse, monstrosity)


16) Joey Belladona (Anthrax) / Russ Anderson (forbidden)



17) Don Dokken (dokken)/ Tom Arraya (Slayer)



18) Chuck Schuldiner (death, control denied)



19) Warrel Dane (sanctuary, nevermore) / Messiah Marcolin (Candlemass, Memento Mori)



20) Scott "Wino" Wieinrich (Saint Vitus, The Obsessed, Hidden Hand, PLace Of Skulls, Spirit Caravan)



21) Kam Lee (massacre) / Chris Barnes (six feet under, cannibal corpse)


22) Bobby Blitz (Overkill) / Zetro (exodus)



23) Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath)



24) Paul Speckmann (Master, War Cry, Deathstrike, Abomination, Paul Speckmann Project, Krabathor, Martyr)



25) Abbath (immortal)



25) Aaron Standthorpe (my dying bride)

Top 100 Death Metal albums (first fifteen commented)

1) Atheist - Unquestionable Presence

"It's always hard to comment on a number 1. Because the reasoning behind someone placing something as #1 is strong and very personal. nevertheless, aside from the personal aspect of it, this album turned me on to jazz, progressive, latin rhythms and everything else that it mixes. To be terse, it made me open my mind. Funny thing is i was hooked to this album since the very first few seconds of it (from the beginning of the song "Mother Man"). i tried to be as objective as possible with this description, otherwise it would've read something like "ATHEIIIIISTTTt!!!!!" Plus, they're the nicest guys i know. (notice i said "guys" and not just "band"...so yeah...that broad...that NICE!).

2) Cynic - Focus

"How did that Neil Armstrong quote go...'one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind' Well replace 'man' with 'band' and 'mankind' with 'metal' and it pretty much justifies my decision to regard this album so highly. Every song is a previously unexplored terrain that only these 4 brave and highly talented musicians had the guts to bring out and to craft so well. Even though their second album is great (as well as the Portal stuff), Cynic will always be a one-album-wonder for me, because that's exactly what "Focus" is: one of the huge wonders of metal and music as a whole. Simply genious."

3) Death - Individual Thought Patterns

"It was hard for me to pick which Death album to place in the top 10...so in order to make it easier, i considered the line-up off each album. Now it was between "Human" and this one. Since Cynic is already in the top and Andy LaRocque is one of my favorite guitarists, with Gene Hoglan and Steve DiGiorgio being from two of my favorite thrash bands (Sadus and Dark Angel)...i think it was pretty easy. Each of the musicians play Chuck's game very adequately, the music works for all of them perfectly and all of them work perfectly for Chuck. I think it's their strongest release. Although the rest of their 90's releases are not too shabby either. And it's the mighty Death for Pete Griffin's sake!"

4) Pestilence - Testimony Of The Ancients

"Another mind-blowing album! Just like "Unquestionable Presence" or "Focus"...hearing this album was a new experience for me, it was something i never heard before and while hearing it, i realized that it was somehting that was missing from my mental music files. It was that well-needed factor to expand my mentality and abilities in music (playing and listening to it). Every song on this album is perfect, the lyrical concept, the artwork, the sound (a perfect representation of Morrisound Studios)...plus i'm a very big fan of well-used keyboards in metal, and this album is the main reason for it. The perfect keyboards quantity, a perfect warm lead guitar tone, face-melting vocals from the great Patrick Mameli (who i have the honor of personally knowing)..it's one of those perfect albums!"

5) Nocturnus - The Key

"An album in which guitar shredding and sci-fi keyboards are predominant. An album on which the amazing Mike Browning (another acquaintance of mine, ex-Morbid Angel, Incubus, now After Death) sings and plays drums, an album which in my opinion birthed a new subgenre of death metal: sci-fi death metal. Very few bands (if any) have adopted that style since then and this makes this album a heavyweight champion of its genre. Another innovative effort hailing from Florida. It's got everything it needs to be considered the avantgarde classic album it is!"

6) Sadist - Tribe

"This italian band is so underrated that not only does it sadden me...but it sickens me! Literally i feel like throwing up everytime i listen to their records and realize that very few have heard of them. This record mixes the best elements of all the aforementioned albums on this list...but also adds a whole lot more. More keyboards than Nocturnus, more melodic solos than Pestilence, more technicality than Death, more insanity than Atheist, more fretless bass than Cynic (well...maybe not but i didn't want to break the alliteration i had going)...another perfect album! PLEASE check it out if you haven't already done so. It's impossible not to like it, especially if you agree with this top 10 so far!"

7) Obituary - Cause Of Death

"Oh mannn....John Tardy's vocals are a blessing!! my favorite death metal vocalist which two of the above bands tried to imitate. And John is so awesome, that even the two bands/vocalists that tried to imitate him sound awesome! Another great representation of Morrisound Studios, this album emanates a sort of...i don't know...rap feel to it! Because it's so damn groovy, i even see the gangsters and their low-riders cruisin' and blasting this album form the speakers. A band that stayed true to their style from the beginning like Slayer and AC/DC. Every second of this album feels like someone is bashing your face! It's so grim, kind of like Celtic Frost brought up to a more extreme level. It still sounds as strong as ever whenever i listen to it. I just love it."

8) Morbid Angel - Altars Of Madness

"An album that made extreme metal a bit more extreme. Goddamn, the intensity of this album is ridiculous! Trey Azagthoth is an artist in the true sense of the term, he has created a force so strong in extreme music that it cannot be stopped! Morbid Angel is one of those rare bands that improve their sound on each new album, yet still keep the old ones sound fresh and amazing. That's what i would call 'originality'. And it's hard to achieve this. The blast-beat is made official on this album by the machine itself Pete Sandoval and aside form that, shredding, evil and Satan all lurk around this album. The whole album is nothing short of revolutionary."

9) Acheron - Those Who Have Risen

"Another great album that's often overlooked. Vincent Crowley & Co. manage to create an album on which every song can be considered cult, classic, ritualistic...however you wanna call it, it just sends you to another place, an out of body experience (pun intended)! You have the feeling that you're at a satanic ceremony, you feel that unknown life force (i'm full of puns and intentions) creeping up on you and showing you secrets you thought unreal. It's an amazing album, the shredding on it competes with Nocturnus, whereas the atmosphere competes with Pestilence and Morbid Angel."

10) Resurrection - Embalmed Existence

"Much in the vein of Obituary, this album is a fresh bash in the face, it mixes groove with subtle technicality (courtesy of ex-Malevolent Creation drummer), the voice and sound of all instruments arethe meaning of the term "brutal", and the narration before each song makes this album a unique masterpiece. Lots of memorable rhythms that will make you want to break things and never fix them again!!!"

11) Martyr - Hopeless Hopes
"Another really underrated band. I think they're all jazz teachers at various great universities in Canada. These guys KNOW music. This is their debut album and they get way better from one album to another, but i had to choose this one because it was the first one i heard and it has the most "classic" vibe out of their 3 albums. It just sounds like a classic death metal album. The other ones are much better instrumental-wise, but this is a great way to get into Martyr. In fact, i think Chuck Schuldiner got a bit too much into them, listen for the opening riff in "Spirit Crusher"..it can be found in a song off this album...which was released 3 years prior to "The Sound Of Perseverance". I guess that's ONE way of appreciating them.

12) Meshuggah - Chaosphere
"Meshuggah is the new Metallica in terms of creating something new. Slowly but surely, they created their own sound. It's so personal, that whenever they get copied by other bands, the bands admit they wanted it to sound like Meshuggah. Cause it's not easy at all...and is brutal as fuck! Ever since Destroy, Erase, Improve they started following their own path and got better from album to album. Obzen is nothing short of genius, but i placed this one here because it was the first one to be concise in sounding like Meshuggah does today. Mind-blowing!"

13) Carcass - Heartwork
"Nothing sounded like them before this album. Actually they were hinting what was to come on this album from "Necroticism blablabla" but as i said with the meshuggah album, this is the perfect mixture between death metal and melody. in fact it was among the very first. You can still find a similar approach in Mike Amott's playing in Arch Enemy. It's a very original album and has all the necessary ingredients to be among the top albums in any death metal ranking."

14) Massacre - From Beyond
"So legend has it that before Chuck Schuldiner growled, the ones that invented it were Paul Speckmann (Master) and Kam Lee (Massacre, ex-Death, Denial Fiend). Now this in my opinion is, besides John Tardy (Obituary) and George Fischer (Cannibal Corpse), the best example of death metal growling. the only difference between the aforementioned is that Kam Lee did it before them. Plus, this album is the only Massacre album (Kam Lee claims "Promise" doesn't count) and it's about H.P Lovecraft so...you can;t really go wrong with that. Featuring members that will later be heard in Death and Six Feet Under."

15) Benediction - Dark Is The Season
"It was among the first death metal cd's i ever bought, because i just loved the cover, the logo, the old-schoolness of it all. The sound didn't let me down either, i really enjoy it and it's another example of what pure old-school death metal should sound like. The best death metal EP!"

16) Slaughter - strappado

17) Death - Human / Symbolic

18) Immolation - here in after / shadows in the light

19) Necrophagist - onset of putrefaction / epitaph

20) Cadaver - in pains...

21) Demolition hammer - tortured existence

22) Atheist - elements/piece of time

23) Nile - In The Beginning / black seeds of vengeance

24) Carnage - dark recollections

25) Edge Of Sanity - Crimson

26) Capharnaum - reality only fantasized

27) Incubus - beyond the unknown

28) Morta Skuld - For All Eternity

29) Cannibal corpse - gallery of suicide

30) Deicide - legion

31) Hypocrisy - the fourth dimension

32) Six feet under - maximum violence

33) At The Gates - suicidal final art (best of)

34) Mortician - domain of death

35) Taine - cealalta parte

36) Afflicted - prodigal sun

37) Master - on the seventh day god created master

38) Exorcist - nightmare theater

39) Nuclear death - bride of insect/carrion for worm

40) Disincarnate - Dreams Of The Carrion Kind

41) Death - sound of perseverance

42) Minotaur - power of darkness

43) Deathstrike - fuckin death

44) Hexx - morbid reality

45) Abomination - debut

46) Possessed - seven churches

47) Repulsion - horrified

48) Nocturnus - thresholds / ethereal tomb

49) Cianide - the dying truth

50) Omnium gatherum - spirits and autumn light

51) In flames - the jester race

52) Incantation - onward to golgotha

53) Morbid angel - covenant / blessed are the sick / domination

54) Monstrosity - imperial doom

55) Acid death - randoms manifest

56) Gorguts - obscura

57) Hellwitch - syzigial miscreancy

58) Gorguts - considered dead

59) Demilich - nesphite

60) Cancer - death shall rise

61) Deicide - deicide

62) Infernal majesty - none shall defy

63) Asphyx - asphyx

64) Atrocity - longing for death/hallucinations

65) Sadist - Crust

66) Suffocation - pierced from within

67) Avatar - the alchemist

68) Protector - golem

69) Godgory - resurrection / sea of dreams

70) Arch enemy - wages of sin

71) Rigor mortis - rigor mortis

72) Entombed - wolverine blues

73) Soilwork - steelbath suicide

74) Ghostorm - frozen in fire

75) Messiah - rotten perish / hymn to abremelin

76) Alarum - eventuality...

77) Autopsy - severed survival

78) Bolt thrower - realm of chaos

79) Chastisement - but lost we are

80) Sadistik execution - the magus

81) Acheron - satanic victory

82) Cattle decapitation - to serve man

83) Cannibal corpse - tomb of the mutilated

84) Death - spiritual healing

85) Pungent stench - for god your soul, for me your flesh

86) Suffocation - effigy of the forgotten

87) Agressor - neverending destiny / towards beyond

88) Dead Horse - horsecore

89) Massacra - final holocaust

90) Agathocles - mincecore history

91) Angelcorpse - hammer of gods

92) Amon amarth - the crusher

93) Master - master

94) Deceased - Luck of the corpse

95) Baphomet - no answers

96) Brutality - screams of anguish

97) Carcass - symphonies of sickness

98) Amorphis - Tales Of A Thousand Lakes

99) Loudblast - disincarnate

100) Napalm death - scum

Top 100 Thrash Albums (first fifteen commented)

1) Testament - Legacy
"The perfect thrash metal album i think. it contains high-pitched vocalsas well as chuck billy's signature voice, but when he was young and thrashing young! this album made him my favorite thrash metal vocalist. it contains memorable solos and magical riffs that no band has topped, creative-wise, alex skolnik really marked his territory with this one. this is the ultimate "introduction to thrash" album, i think."
2) Watchtower - Energetic Disassembly
"The first bandto introduce jazz and progressive into metal. period. if you like technical bands, they are the fathers. if you like jazz, progressive and metal but don;t know a band that combines them the best, Watchtower is your choice. the drums and bass on this one are still ahead of their time."
3) Dark Angel - Darkness Descends / Time Does Not Heal
"DD was supposed to come out at the same time, if not even before slayer's "reign in blood", but slayer beat them to the album pressing by some months i think. this album was supposed to be what "reign in blood" became since it came out. With Gene Hoglan on drums, one of the best drummers in metal and Don Dotty providing mean thrash vocals from hell,this album destroyed everything in its way at the time, and i think it still does with its hatred and intensity. As for TDNH, their last effort...what a great (and sad) way to end the career of a band: to make the greatest most well-though out record of their career, and of technical thrash in general! "
4) Celtic Frost - Morbid Tales / To Mega Therion
"The band that started it all, in my opinion. Metallica were big fans of Hellhammer/Celtic Frost, as well as Venom, Mercyful Fate and The Misfits and the NWOBHM bands. But Venom was just the thrashiest out of the NWOBHM and Misfits were among the thrashiest of the hardcore/punk bands, but Celtic Frost managed to capture exactly what thrash means. Because of these two albums, bands like Obituary, Coroner, 1349, Tiamat and many others have existed along the way. They're still the most evil thrash metal albums of all time, i think, and they gave birth to black metal, death metal, thrash metal and revolutionized doom and gothic metal. Both are mandatory!!!"
5) Annihilator - Never, Neverland
"Wow, what an album! Canadian Jeff Waters (guitars) & co. revolutionize melodic thrahs through this album. Just like on Testament's "The Legacy", all the riffs on this album will stick in your head for your whole life, these are the riffs of a genious. The drums, the bass, the guitars, the TECHNIQUE and SONG-STRUCTURES, the vocals...everyhting on this album is just perfect and a pleasure to listen to, but it can also cause metal thrashing madness. So keep your adrenaline under control, if you can! But also, it was one of the albums i seriously learned guitar from."
6) Anthrax - Among The Living
"I can never listen to this album without losing my shit!!! or at least doing the Scott Ian stomp. this is the most violent thrash album for me, because every second of it hits you like a copper bat across the nose cavity. THIS is how thrash drums should sound...and who would be better at handling these perfect and mean sounding drums than one of the best thrash drummers, Charlie Benante. Joey Belladona is renowned as one of the best thrash metal vocalist especially for his work on this album. The string section is pissed as a club-bouncer that got punched by some punker. The whole ensemble sounds like a rock that hits you when you push "play". This is the ultimate album for a moshpit (i think it even coined the term with the song "Caught In A Mosh"). After the first minute and a half of the album (the beginning of the title track) i'm always sweating and already exhausted. Warning: do not listen to it when you have valuable objects or people around, they shall be crushed!!!"
7) Metal Church - Metal Church
"This album was love at first...ummm well "sight" doesn't go well with the context but-uhhh...audition! Very Evil Sounding, song-structures are amazing, vocalist David Wayne is, on the same spot with testament's Chuck Billy, my favorite thrash/speed metal vocalist (RIP) thanks to THIS treasure of an album. and especially the atmosphere it creates...very creepy, yet still pissed and bad-ass and when David Wayne starts emiting sounds...forget about it. Also one of the first thrash albums to have and instrumental song. You may think the name is corny, but the music will prove you wrong, as it did to me too."
8) Metallica - Kill 'Em All / Ride The Lightning
"Is there really much to say about these two? In case someone reading this DOESN'T know about them, they are considered to be (especially the first one...of course) the first thrash metal albums, making Metallica the first thrahs metal band in history. The first one is very angry and fast, spawning the genre "speed metal" while the second one shows a drastic maturization. This is classic thrash metal."
9) Coroner - No More Color/ Mental Vortex
"Another album-duo...NMC is Coroner's best effort to show their technical abilities when it comes to shredding (on guitars as well as on bass), the riffs are so mean yet so catchy and melodic. And then BOOM, out of nowhere, comes the Masterpiece MV, Coroner's climax...not at all a continuation of NMC as one would expect. Just simply perfection. Each song on this record: a pearl. Coroner? The pearl-containing oyster."
10) Forbidden - Forbidden Evil
"This album caught my attention when someone i used to know in 8th grade (an ex-80's thrasher/now lawyer from AZ named Michael) told me that the vocalist Russ Anderson has an almost 3-octave-wide vocal-range. I knew i had to hear this and there it was, right in the first song "Chalice Of Blood" and especially towards the end of the title track, Russ instantly became one of my favorite thrahs metal vocalists. On this album, drummer Paul Bostaph (later of Slayer fame) made his debut, and i think he did a good job in 'yer, but i think Forbidden suited him perfectly! The first half of the album is godly, the second is...ok, but if you're looking for a classic thrash album that influenced many to come and not really everyone heard of, get it. do it!!"
11) Megadeth - Rust In Peace
"Melody, two amazing guitarists, an amazing bassist, great drums, complex song-structures, political lyrics, the unique vocals of Dave Mustaine, legendary solos...oh i know what all that means! It's Megadeth's "Rust In Peace". For me (and for many others i think), this album was Megadeth's peak. It was the most mature before they went slightly grungier and more mainstream with Youthanasia. The best of their golden period i'd say. Every song on it is a classic, from the first riff, through the chorus and solo, to the very last strum. This truly got their spot up there with the "thrash big four".
12) Helstar - Nosferatu
"Oh my...This is a flawless album. If you want good drums, Frank shows some amazing (even original) fills and breaks, as well as keeping up with the rapid and complex tempos. If you want good bass, there's even some bass solos in the songs, to prove that Jerry ain't kidding around. If you want good vocals...James Rivera is James Rivera. But if you want good guitars...this is a guitarist's worst decision, in that Larry and Andre are so good, that they'd make anyone who considers themselves a virtuoso quit guitar. Let's put it this way: they make Yngwie look like Kurt Cobain...on saxophone! This album will blow you away, plus it's a conceptual album so that's always a white ball on my behalf!"
13) OverKill - Horrorscope
"Are you kidding?? The sound of all instruments (especially that sharp bass and guitar crunch) on this album probably gave birth to a new style of thrash playing/writing. It crushes the ears, it's really intense, but then when you add Bobby Blitz's vocals on it...forget about it, just his voice alone is like a great thrash record, but these songs, these musicians...this album as a whole is more intense than a war!"
14)Voivod - Dimension Hatross/Nothingface/Angel Rat
"Three albums on the same rank! Whaaaa?? well...because each of them shows a different period in Voivod's lifespan. Of course, Voivod is so unique because they change their sound form album to album, but these albums are my favorite creativity display of Voivod. Melody, weirdness, talent, originality...these albums will have anyone see thrash metal differently and realize that Voivod is really hard to be categorized."
15) Anacrusis - Manic Impressions
"Too underrated! These guys had so much originality it's ridiculous. They were supposed to be as well-known as Coroner, Watchtower, Toxik, etc...right up there with the classic prog-thrashers. I mean, that's what they are but i don;t feel everyone feels this way, they don;t get the credit they deserve. This album, from its cover to its weird robotic cold and echo-y sound, is a milestone in Thrash and i'm hoping one day people will start seeing them as influential as the other classics."
16)Prong - beg to differ
17)Believer - Sanity Obscure
18)Whiplash - Insult To Injury
19) Invocator - weave the apocalypse
20) Cacophony - speed metal symphony
21)Heathen - Victims Of Deception
22) Holy Terror - Mind Wars
23) Nuclear Assault - survive
24) Morgana lefay - sanctified
25) Evildead - Annihilation of civilization
26) Sadus - illusions/swallowed in black
27) Sanctuary - refuge denied
28) Sacred Reich - the american way
29)Morbid saint - spectrum of death
30)Exhorder - The Law/Slaughter in the Vatican
31)Death Angel - Act III
32) Powermad - absolute power
33)Paradox - Heresy
34) Vendetta - go and live...stay and die
35) Pantera - cowboys from hell
36) M.O.D. - U.S.A. for M.O.D
37)Iron angel - hellish crossfire
38) Blind illusion - the sane asylum
39) Kreator - pleasure to kill / violent revolution
40) Testament - The New Order
41)Armored Saint - Symbol Of Salvation
42) Tankard - the morning after
43) The Mist - The Hangman tree
44) Artillery - By inheritance
45) Hexenhaus - the edge of eternity/ awakening
46) Testament - souls of black
47) Deathrow - deception ignored
48) Sodom - tapping the vein
49) Savage Grace - master of disguise / after the fall from grace
50) Slayer - reign in blood / south of heaven
51) Anthrax - spreading the disease
52) Dark angel - we have arrived
53) Sepultura - arise
54) Metallica - master of puppets
55) Celtic frost - into the pandemonium
56) Holy moses - finished with the dogs
57) Sacrosanct - truth is what is
58) Assorted heap - mind reflections
59) Hirax - Raging violence
60) Sepultura - Beneath The Remains
61) Flotsam and jetsam - no place for disgrace
62) Prong - cleansing
63) Attacker - the second coming/battle at helms deep
64) Onslaught - the force
65) Exumer - Possessed By Fire
66) D.B.C. - dead brain cells/universe
67) Devastation - signs of life
68) CyborG - The Last Thing You'll See
69) Destruction - cracked brain
70) Slayer - hell awaits
71) Seputlura - Schizophrenia
72) Sadus - elements of anger
73) Hobbs angel of death - hobbs angel of death
74) Holy terror - terror and submission
75) Sabbat - history of a time to come
76) Sepultura - Chaos A.D.
77) Vio-lence - eternal nightmare/ opressing the masses
78) Sacred Reich - Ignorance
79) Invocator - excursion demise
80) Artillery - fear of tomorrow
81) Avenger of blood - complete annihilation
82) Deathrow - life beyond
83) Tankard - zombie attack
84) Overkill - taking over
85) Mortal Sin - Face Of Despair
86) Wehrmacht - biermacht
87) Ludichrist - immaculate deception
88) Destruction - infernal overkill
89) Believer - extraction form mortality
90) Sodom - agent orange
91) Kreator - coma of souls
92) Destruction - release from agony
93) Tankard - chemical invasion
94) Viking - do or die
95) Bitch - be my slave
96) Ripping Corpse - dreaming with the dead
97) Agent steel - unstoppable force
98) Airdash - thank god its Monday
99) Hallows Eve - tales of terror
100) Cryptic slaughter - money talks/convicted

(This Is Not A) Blog Spot

(PiL pun intended in the title)...that is to say, this won't be something organized and neat. i'll post anything i feel at anytime, it's mostly gonna be music-related, because i'm mostly music-related. besides that, i'm gonna spew venom about various things either through metaphors or say it as it is. it's not meant to make sense for anyone, it's mostly for me. like a mental archive.

to sum it up, i hope no one cares about the blog, except for whatever doesn't have to do with me. i'll try to keep it updated frequently but not daily, i'll post news about my music, my radio show, and whatever the fuck else my fingers will decide to type. so...my activities.

after this warm welcome, let's see how long it takes until i delete this blog.

matei