I knew it

Had i known i will get this reply today...i still would've posted the previous post. Ha ha. It still had an impact, regardless of the fact that after i sent him an apology for the misspelling, he replied:

"Matei, it happens. No sweat. It's a real loss. Henry"

I feel ok again. It's fascinating how someone you care about can take everything away from you so quickly, leaving you feeling empty and in a shitholic state of mind...and then redeeming everything they took away in the first place just as quick. Restitutio In Integrum, if you will. It sounds creepy that i talk about him so obsessively, but he's just the scapegoat for what i'm trying to get across...to myself. And yet another example of foreign humor: This whole episode came form 10 words. 10 words that, if seen by a third party...ANY third party...they don;t really mean anything, just that i wrote something, and he let me know i spelled it wrong. End of discussion. See how important personal value is? It changes the perspective of a situation entirely. And see, I'm not a hypocrite, i DID say yesterday that i still respect this man and it changes nothing in my appreciation for him, Henry is still at the top for me. I wasn't expecting a reply. It's not like a break-up (although i did dare to make that comparison)...but in some ways it's worse. I had one of those feelings like in a relationship, when things are being said that can only DRIVE everything to fall apart. It's that little trigger that makes the whole gun fatal. It's when the bullets only cause bodily pain but don;t cause Death. But i can handle it from anyone...I've been shot many times. I say i can't...yet i go on. Something's done right. Well...WRONG form my actual perspective. But nevertheless, I'm here.